Restless
by Dr.HarleenQ
Summary: The night Gaara was rescued from the Akatsuki he found himself in a state of solemn unsettled restlessness. It was on this sleepless night that fate took hold and truth was realized and embraced. Naruto x Gaara ONESHOT


Hello all you lovely and wonderful people! About four months ago I discovered the joy that is _Naruto_ and I've been binge watching it ever since. Pretty quickly Naruto/Gaara become one of my OTPs and I felt the call to write about it. This takes place the night the Kazekage rescue mission was completed in Shippuden, so if you haven't finished that arc I'm just warning you that there are spoilers ahead!

As always I'd like to state that these brilliant characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto and not myself. I am simply borrowing them to make an _arguably_ non-cannon ship a reality for myself.

Please review and enjoy!

SUMMARY: The night Gaara was rescued from the Akatsuki he found himself in a state of solemn unsettled restlessness. It was on this sleepless night that fate took hold and truth was realized and embraced. Naruto x Gaara ONESHOT.

* * *

Restless

He couldn't sleep. He could never sleep. Always pegged, in some fashion, with thoughts and fears that left him restless. Gaara couldn't sleep. Tonight, however, he seemed more distressed than usual. Rightfully so. After all, very few can say they've returned from the dead.

But Gaara could and did. He returned from the dead and suddenly everything inside of him was quiet. That may have been the most distressing part for him, the sudden silence. Normally kept awake by the voices in his head, and the fear that if he slept he'd let the monster out. This time though, there was no monster keeping him awake. No voices pegging his thoughts. The Shukaku was gone, and only the echo of his own unfiltered thoughts remained. it was more unsettling than he thought it would be.

It was frustrating to Gaara, feeling as troubled as he did. He felt as if he was being unappreciative. So many people from his village and the leaf came to make sure he was alright. Gaara had awoken to cheers and celebratory tears. People were happy for his well-being. All Gaara ever wanted was to be precious to someone, and now he was precious to many. Still, Gaara felt unsettled and empty. The silence in his head, the trauma of being kidnapped, tortured and killed while the one tail was extracted, and even the shock that came with being revived – it was a lot to handle.

After a while of listening to the quiet breathing of the many sleeping shinobi around him, he gave up any hope that sleep would claim him. It was quite ironic actually, the sandman having insomnia.  
As Gaara laid on his back, staring up at the stars decorating the desert sky, he knew needn't be still no longer and had decided it was time to go for a walk. That he needed to do something to expel this sense of instability he had looming over him. He needed to think in solitude.

The young Kazekage emerged from his mat, needing some time. Some time away. He needed to clear his mind and organize his thoughts. His body still felt stiff from the rigamortis as he rose from the ground, joints cracking as he stood. A walk would be good for him, both in body and mind.

So the red headed boy walked away from the camp grounds; walked away from the body of a heroic old woman who sacrificed herself his sake; walked away from the copy ninja, who was practically incapacitated due to his efforts to save Gaara; walked away from the leaf shinobi, who not only risked everything for him, but were now taking it upon themselves to escort him home; walked away from all the people from his village who came to help upon his awakening; walked away from the memories of the day in desperate hope that if he went far enough they would disappear; and in walking away from all of that, he also walked away from _him_. He walked away from the blonde haired knuckle-headed ninja who who always managed to be there to catch him when he fell. Uzumaki Naruto was always there. Always making Gaara a better and stronger person. Always saving him.

 _Naruto_. The sound of his name accompanied with the new silence in his head brought a warmth to Gaara's cheeks and a feeling in his stomach that reminded him of free falling.

If it weren't for Naruto, Gaara would have stayed lost and alone. He would have never known what it meant to live for someone other than himself. He would have stayed a scared lonely little boy hidden inside a hard, sandy shell of betrayal and bitter apathy. Taking the lives of others in order to feel alive himself used to be the only thing that gave Gaara purpose. Because of Naruto, Gaara reconciled with his siblings, and he found the respect of his village. And because of Naruto, both of those things found their way into his heart as well. To Uzumaki Naruto, Gaara would be forever grateful.

 _Grateful_. The word felt so pale in comparison to his feelings for the ninja.  
Yes, Gaara felt grateful, but it was more than that. So much more. The way his heart beat around him, the way his blood pumped, it was only comparable to the rush he got from the blood lust of his past.

But he didn't want Naruto's blood.

Until today, Gaara didn't know what he wanted. Until today, Gaara spent the last two years burying himself in his Kazekage work in an attempt to forget about the fellow jinchuriki, the only one who ever understood him. Until today, Gaara justified it as some sort of twisted mind game played on him by Shukaku.

But the Shukaku was gone, and the mind game stayed.

It was earlier today that suddenly everything became so clear.

* * *

 _He could feel himself being brought back. He could feel his life returning as he looked down at his hands and then forward in depths of his subconscious. There in his subconscious mind sat a small child Gaara. He was alone and crying, in pain from the betrayal of all those he had tried to get close to. Alone. Like Gaara has always been, and always would be. Alone._

" _Who am I?" Gaara asked himself as he watched his child-self weep. He felt so lost in the purgatory he currently found himself in. Lost and alone._

 _But then, another boy emerged from the darkness and touched the shoulder of the small Gaara. A blonde little boy came to save him. A young Uzumaki Naruto came to the save his kid-self from the dark future that awaited them._

 _Naruto had known the same pain as him, and Naruto would take it away._

 _When Gaara had opened up his eyes after being brought back fully into the real world, the first thing he saw were crystal blue orbs staring into him._

" _Gaara" the blue eyed man spoke to him, relief in his voice._

 _Lady chino brought him to life, but those eyes were what truly made him feel alive ._

" _Naruto."_

 _His gaze traveled downward and he took in whiskered cheeks and lips that curved into a smile that made Gaara's newly beating heart flutter. This was accompanied with an urge to cover those lips with his own, to meld in to the safely that was Naruto's gaze, his mouth, his touch. It was in that moment that the Kazekage realized that it was not blood lust._

 _It was love._

 _The Lord Kazakage of the Sand found love in a Genin from the Leaf._

* * *

Yes, Gaara certainly had a lot to be restless about tonight.

After a while of walking Gaara found a flat rock to sit himself on. Facing away from the camp, he sat down and tucked his head into his knees. The temperature was dropping and the breeze was picking up, blowing a few sand particles from the armor of skin away into the night. How he wished he could float away with them.

"Can't sleep either huh?"

Gaara tensed at the sound of a certain leaf shinobi's voice from behind him. How has he not noticed he was being followed? He slowly lifted his head in silent acknowledgment of his new company. Sand from the desert floor next to the rock began to stir, and a seat was formed next to it. An invitation.

Naruto smiled at the sight of the little sand bench and made his way over to sit next to the young Kazekage, who had still yet to make eye contact with him.

"Um, I brought you this."

Gaara finally looked up to see a cup being handed to him. A curious look graced his face.

"It's juice. Kakashi Sensei put Sakura in charge of packing our food supply for when we go on missions. I don't know if you've ever tried Sakura's food pills, but let me tell ya, I've been living off of this juice for the past five days." Naruto gave a nervous laugh, his free hand reaching to scratch the back of his neck. "Uh, let's not tell her I said that okay?"

Gaara's lips pressed into a thin line and curved up into a small smile. He gently took the cup from the leaf ninja's hand, butterflies filling his stomach as his sand callused fingertips barley brushed against Naruto's.

"Sakura said it has some sort of medical chakra things in it. I dunno. I don't really get all that stuff, but I thought it might help. You've had a long day, ya know?"

Gaara looked into the cup at the red liquid reflecting his face from the moon light above. He slowly lifted it to his lips, allowing the beverage to sate his dry mouth.

There was a moment of silence between to two ninja before Gaara looked back up from the cup, and made direct eye contact with Naruto.

"Thank you."

His words were laced with a heavy and deep sense of appreciation. Those two words told the story of their entire relationship. From the Chunin exams to this very moment. They both knew that it was about more than just juice appreciation. It carried the thanks of everything Naruto had ever done for him.

 _Thank you for saving me from myself_

 _Thank you for saving me from the Akatsuki_

 _Thank you for accepting me_

 _Thank you for understanding me_

 _Thank you for inspiring me_

 _Thank you for the juice._ _  
_  
The look on Gaara's face and the intimacy of the moment made Naruto squirm slightly in his seat as he felt a blush being painted on his cheeks. "Yeah no problem. Like I said you've had a hard day."

Gaara gave a small laugh.

"I spent most the day dead. I believe it is you, Uzumaki Naruto, that has had the long day."

Naruto tensed at Gaara's words. The idea that Gaara was ever dead horrified Naruto beyond belief. Flashes and memories of the red haired boy's body played through his head.

* * *

 _Naruto walked into the Akatsuki hideout, hoping to find a Gaara kicking ass and and taking names. Wanting so badly to find a Gaara fighting and breathing. Wanting Gaara to be alive._

 _So when Naruto saw the hollow corpse of a once great leader and friend being sat on by two Akatsuki members, denial crept in hard and fast._

 _"You bastards! Where the hell do you think you're sitting?!"_

 _His blood boiled and his knuckles turned white as his fists balled up. No. Not Gaara. Anything but that._

 _The Akatsuki members began to talk to him and taunt him, but Naruto wasn't listening. He couldn't hear anything beyond the blood rushing to his head and the increased rate of his heart._

 _Naruto was waiting. He was waiting for Gaara to get up. For it all to be a trick. He was waiting for it to be a substitution, for Gaara to jump out of the shadows and save the day. There was no way Naruto would ever accept that Gaara could be dead. It was impossible._

 _"Gaara what the hell are you doing?! Why are you just lying there?!"_

 _When the corpse didn't stir, Naruto only felt more determined to prove that Gaara was alive and well. His voice became louder, his panic more evident with each word._

 _"Gaara! Get up! Answer me!"_

 _The corpse didn't move and Naruto's desperation grew. His whole world felt like it was shattering and reality began to creep its way in._

 _" What are you deaf? Come on! Knock it off already!"_

 _"Enough!" Kakashi's voice cut him off. "Naruto you know full and well and that he's..."_

 _Gaara was dead. He was truly dead. It was as if Naruto had been hit by his own rasengan. Tears of anger and sadness formed in Naruto's eyes. His body shook with a rage unlike any he had ever felt. He would kill them. Naruto would rip apart every last Akatsuki member with his bare hands. Gaara would be avenged. And he would start with the two bastards objectifying his body like a piece of furniture._

 _"Give him back! Give Gaara back you damn..."_

 _And he charged after them._

* * *

It was a nightmare. An absolute nightmare that haunted Naruto. It was the reason his own sleep was taken from him.

A world without Gaara was a nightmare.

Naruto didn't know why, but he needed Gaara. He needed Gaara more than he needed anything or anyone else. Something inside of him was awakened that day he got the rescue mission. Something that Naruto didn't even know was there until Gaara was taken away from him. When he heard that Gaara had been captured, suddenly nothing else mattered but making sure he was safe. He forgot about the Chunin exams, he forgot about Sasuke, he forgot about Ichiraku's. In that moment, his only purpose was rescuing the Kazekage.

It didn't make sense. It had been two years since he had seen the sand shinobi and only a handful of times that they had actually crossed paths. But Naruto had a bond with Gaara. He understood Gaara on a deeper level than anyone else and Gaara understood him just as much. It was unspoken, but it was real and it was powerful. He needed Gaara because he needed that bond. He needed someone to able to look at him and without words be able to say "I understand." Gaara took away the loneliness in a way only he could.

Yes, a world without Gaara was a nightmare indeed.

"Naruto?" Gaara asked worriedly, breaking the spell that Naruto's thoughts had on him.

"Huh? Oh sorry. Spaced out a little there."

"Are you alright? I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yeah I'm fine. You didn't upset me. Don't worry about it. it's just been a long day for the both of us."

Gaara nodded in agreement and both shinobi looked away, each plagued by their thoughts for the other. The silence was tense and awkward, but more than anything it was still pleasant. Both of them found the company of the other comforting. A silent agreement that without words could say _I understand_.

"Gaara?" Naruto said after a few moments of quiet had passed.

"Hmm?" Gaara hummed

"What's it's like? I mean what's it like to not have. Ya know, to not have.."

"The Shukaku?" Gaara finished for him.

"Yeah."

Gaara sat up a little straighter, placed the cup of juice on the ground beside him, and turned his body to face the blonde.

"Does the nine tails ever speak to you? Do you feel it's presence? It's always there isn't it? In some way or another?"

Naruto bit his bottom lip and looked down, contemplating Gaara's question. He touched his stomach, his hand covering where the seal was placed.

It was true. He always could feel the nine tails looming over him. He thought back to his fight with Deidara, and the orange cloak that covered him. The power Naruto got from him was very real and he was always vaguely aware that he was not alone in his mind.

He looked towards Gaara and nodded.

"For as long as I can remember, the Shukaku was there in my head. Always speaking to me, commanding me, teaching me, and influencing me. Even after I no longer embraced what he had to say, he was still a voice I had to fight. I had never known true silence until today. Now the only thoughts in my head are my own. They are unfiltered and without influence and commentary. They are completely mine. It's quiet. It's freedom. It's unnerving."

"Unnerving how?" Naruto asked, turning his body to match Gaara's and leaning in ever so slightly.

"The silence is rather uncomfortable. In a way I feel empty. Alone. I am the only one that fills my head now. Please understand that I am very grateful that I no longer carry the one tail, but knowing that every thought is original and one hundred percent me... It's just different."

Naruto chewed on this for a few seconds before leaning in a little further. "I think I understand."

Gaara found himself leaning in as well, his green eyes staring deep into Naruto's blue ones.

"You always understand."

It was then that Naruto become acutely aware of how close he was to Gaara, his face only a few inches away.

Naruto's face began turning a shade of red, and he could feel his whole body begin to heat up. His throat began to dry out as his eyes fell to the young Kazakage's lips.

Naruto couldn't shake the urge that he needed to cover Gaara's lips with his own, and it was making him a little uneasy. Never before had he felt this burning need. It was sudden and he didn't know what to do with it. It was different than what he felt for Sakura. It was urgent and all-consuming and came out of blue. In this moment it was now becoming clear to Naruto just how much he felt for the boy in front of him.

Naruto broke eye contact, and looked away nervously, unsure how to proceed. The air was tense with an unspoken confession between the two men.

"Yeah... Well ummm..." The leaf ninja stood awkwardly, turning back towards the camp and swaying back and forth on his feet.

"It's been fun. But I uh, I'm going to head back now so... Yeah bye."

Naruto took a step towards the camp, prepared to run away from these foreign feelings.

"Naruto."

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Naruto, what do you think of me?"

Naruto turned around to face Gaara, who he now found was standing as well. Gaara's expression held both fear and anticipation as he stared at Naruto with a sense of desperation.

"I uh..." Naruto's hand found its way to the back of his neck as he stood there awkward and uncertain. "uh... I mean... I like being around you. I think you're a good friend." His eyes were shifting as he tried to avoid the obvious direction of the conversation.

Gaara, took a few steps forward, trying to claim Naruto's eyes. " _Just_ a good friend?"

This was happening. This was happening and Naruto couldn't avoid it. And honestly he wasn't sure why he wanted to. It was different and new and scary, but it made his heart flutter and the idea of Gaara brought him so much joy. Why was Naruto running?

Naruto sighed and dropped his hand. He looked up to meet Gaara's eyes. They were filled with so much care. They made Naruto feel safe and gave him a sense of peace. He could do this.

With Gaara he could do anything.

"Look, I don't know much about love." Naruto confessed. "But what I feel for you Gaara, it's... It's unlike anything else I've ever felt." His hand grasped his chest, over his heart. "When I thought you died, I didn't know how to function. I felt so lost and scared. It was like I was drowning. And it hurt. It hurt so bad Gaara." Tears began to form at the corners of Naruto's eyes as he thought about life without his Kazekage. "I realized then... That I need you. I need you Gaara. More than I need Sakura, more than I want to bring Sasuke back, hell, more than I need ramen, I need you in my life. I don't really understand it, but I can't deny it and I can't run away from it. If anything I want to embrace it. I want to understand, and I want to understand with you, ya know? I'm probably not making much sense, but I guess what I'm trying to get at is… I think I love you Gaara. There. I said it."

Relief and joy unlike anything else washed over Gaara at Naruto's words. Hearing how much he meant to the shinobi filled the void that Shukaku once held. He felt full and loved and needed in a way that he never had before. Gaara gave up on finding reciprocated love long ago, yet here it was. Right in front of him. Tears spilled from his face as his emotions ran rapid. Naruto loved him. Naruto wanted him. Naruto needed him. He loved and needed and wanted him in all the ways that Gaara did.

To Naruto, Gaara was not a monster. To Naruto he never was.

Gaara walked to Naruto, his hand lifted up and caressed his cheek ever so softly. Naruto leaned into his touch. It was sandy and coarse and perfect.

"And I, Uzumaki Naruto, love you."

Tears were flowing down both their cheeks now at the realization that they had found someone who would understand and love them fully and truly. Two children, hated for just existing, had found one another. Naruto gave a sheepish smile, as his hand reached over to cover Gaara's.

"And if it is okay with you, I would very much like to kiss you."

Naruto blushed through his tears at Gaara's request. His smile grew and he nodded.

"I would be honored to allow the Lord Kazekage to grace me with his lips."

In that moment the protective sand that covered Gaara's skin fell around them, leaving him exposed and vulnerable.

"I want to feel you, fully and completely." Gaara explained.

Naruto nodded as both shinobi leaned in, lips making their way to one another, so teasingly close…

Gaara stopped suddenly, only a few centimeters from his new lover's mouth,

"What if I hurt you?" Although Gaara was taking initiative, he couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive. For so long his touch brought nothing but pain, fear, and death. The only intimacy the young Kazekage knew was that of the intimacy brought by someone's final breath. The idea that his touch could bring someone pleasure and love was such a foreign idea. Gaara wasn't sure if it was even possible.

"You're not going to hurt me." Naruto whispered confidently, his voice filled with trust.

"But what if I-"

"Shut up". Naruto interrupted as he pulled Gaara's face to him and captured his lips with his own.

Fireworks. Pure fireworks. Neither shinobi had ever felt this burning passion before. It was new and exciting and they couldn't get enough. Tears flooded and teeth clashed as they tried to find their rhythm.

Naruto bit down on Gaara's bottom lip, Causing Gaara to gasp at the sensation. Naruto then took the opportunity of the sand shinobi's open mouth to slip his tongue in. Their tongues danced with one another, exploring each other's mouths, memorizing the taste and feel of the other person. Allowing themselves to meld together and become one.

Naruto's hands ran through red hair, specs of sand falling to ground from the ginger mop while Gaara's hands slipped to Naruto's lower back, pulling the shinobi's hips against his own causing Naruto to release a soft moan.

Both ninja spent so long feeling alone. Feeling rejected by the world around them. And here they were, holding each other, and embracing each other; embracing their mistakes; embracing their successes; embracing their pasts and futures; embracing every inch of the other, good and bad; embracing and truly loving each other.

After what felt like a lifetime they parted from one another, needing air. They pressed their foreheads together, and smiled at each other. A warm welcoming feeling blanketed around them. Naruto drew back and brought his hand up, tracing over the red marking on the side of Gaara's forehead. _Love_. For the first time Gaara felt like he could wear the marking without irony. The green-eyed ninja nuzzled himself into Naruto's neck, tucking himself under his chin, while Naruto wrapped his arms around the young Kazekage holding him close.

They stood there silently, just holding each other and basking in the other's presence, each shinobi feeling totally and completely safe.

Suddenly the silence wasn't so bad with Naruto's arms wrapped around him, Gaara no longer feared the quiet in his mind, no longer felt tormented by his memories with the Akatsuki.

With his love safe in his arms, Naruto felt strong enough to do anything.

After a few moments, Gaara broke away, sand from the desert floor recreating the shell of his skin. He took Naruto's hand in his and squeezed.

"We should head back now."

Naruto nodded in agreement, and both ninja headed back towards camp hand in hand. That night and for many nights to come, both the Genin of the Leaf and the Kazakage of the Sand, slept soundly.

END.


End file.
